


feel love (i can show you it)

by hamssi



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, au where i know how to tag, idk what to tag, im tired and i already had this tagged but ao3 deleted it ahshhs, no other members but soonwoo ft jihoon, ok, pretty u era, soonwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 10:27:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13522311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamssi/pseuds/hamssi
Summary: “You know I can’t, Hoon.” And he wasn’t lying. Every time he even thought about confessing to every single thought he had conjured up in his tired brain, his throat would turn constricted and it’d feel like his chest was caving in on his lungs, threatening to swallow back even the smallest syllable Wonwoo would think of saying.“Can’t or won’t?”At these words, Wonwoo’s mind seemed to quiet itself down, the whirring of his thoughts coming to an abrupt stop. He hadn’t considered that before.





	feel love (i can show you it)

**Author's Note:**

> title pulled from “[feel love](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8UMkU8NMgFQ)“ by from indian lakes.
> 
> (a good song pls listen to it)

“I like your glasses.”

 

Wonwoo’s head snapped up from where he was playing another nameless game on his phone, waiting to be called up on stage as he sat on the couch, practically melting into the cushions.

 

A part of him wanted to lean in and study every fleck that decorated the brown eyes he was greeted with, but he was content with seeing even the faintest sparkle at the moment. That, and he was afraid that he’d be overstepping unsaid boundaries by standing up just to inspect the beauty in front of him.

 

He was suddenly self-conscious, a hand raising to push at the bridge of his delicate gold frames while he merely blinked at the other.

 

“Thanks,” the taller male replied, and Soonyoung offered him a smile in return.

 

Wonwoo had to pretend that his heart hadn’t almost combusted; that the beauty of the male’s smile hadn’t just tried to pierce through his skin to get there, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He had yet to create any sort of defenses for this problem, and he was most certain that it’d leave him with a weak-beating heart one day.

 

(Though, a part of him didn’t mind as long as he’d get to see that smile over and over again.)

 

**

 

Learning a new choreography had always proven itself to be difficult to Wonwoo, no matter how simple the moves were. He just couldn’t quite grasp the concept of counting beats in his head while snapping an arm to the left or the right; it was all too much mental work. Of course, there was improvement on his part from years of continuous practice, but there was still work to be done for the future.

 

“You’re getting it all wrong,” Wonwoo heard from behind him, attention focused on his own lanky figure in the reflection of the mirror, having been too busy criticizing his clumsy actions and lack of coordination. Averting his eyes to the source of the voice, he figured that he didn’t have to look in the first place. He could recognize that voice anywhere.

 

Soonyoung was beaming back at him, teeth on display for the younger male to gaze at; it was almost embarrassing to look at the expression on his own face once he had turned his attention back to his own body, but he covered the embarrassment up with a smile of his own.

 

“I don’t usually have that much trouble with moves like these but for some reason I’m just…”

 

“Having trouble with a move like this?” The older male let out a laugh, stepping a little closer so that he was next to Wonwoo, arms crossed over his chest as his eyes took on an attentive gaze. “Do it again.”

 

The taller male took a deep breath, eyes falling shut for just a moment as encouraging thoughts whirled by in his mind, taking on the voices of some of his members, his parents, his friends. It always helped Wonwoo to visualize his loved ones cheering him on, big signs in their hands with his name printed in big letters. After all, this wasn’t just for himself; he was doing it to make them all proud.

 

Peeling his eyes back open, the male focused his gaze on his own body through the reflection of his mirror, letting his body take over and do the moves for him, his only job being to picture himself hitting all the right beats with just the right amount of force behind every one. He almost forgot the older male’s presence in the room, only remembering after he had finished, only barely ending what he had been working on non-stop. There were too many moves he didn’t have under control, Wonwoo knew that for sure from the way Soonyoung’s face contorted into something of understanding.

 

The words that came out were ones he was expecting, though effectively earning his attention as he turned his body towards the older, “You have the right idea.” From where his hands were perched on his hips, Soonyoung took a step closer, stretching his limbs across his body before demonstrating the two measures Wonwoo has having trouble with. “But you see how every move I make is somewhat controlled?” Repeating his prior movements, the younger male could only stare in awe. Soonyoung’s dancing had always rendered Wonwoo speechless, the same feeling stirring inside of him as when he first saw the older in action.

 

The male stood up straight, eyes trained on himself for a few moments, dark and almost lost in another reality before they were averting back to the younger male, kind and bright. “There’s not enough tension in your body. It’s too relaxed. I know you like the whole careless image, but tighten up maybe a little. Try to hit each beat with a strong attitude.”

 

Wonwoo only nodded before shifting so that his body was facing the mirror, taking a quick breath before going into the dance with a different mindset than before. _Tension_ , he repeated over and over.

 

And so they worked for a few hours with Soonyoung politely correcting Wonwoo’s mistakes, small details and nuances falling past his lips without much thought, though the younger male appreciated every single one of them. His performance was slowly getting better with every word that the smaller uttered.

 

“That’s it!” Soonyoung cheered, bouncing on his toes as he made his way over to Wonwoo, who allowed the older to indulge in his excitement as he bounced with him. “I’m proud of our work.” The male paused before lifting a fist, pumping it slightly. “Comeback, here we come!”

 

Wonwoo didn’t say anything, instead choosing to gaze at the male in front of him not so subtly. His smile was wide ‒ idiotic, almost ‒ as he and Soonyoung did a little happy dance, their hands somehow finding their way to each other, fingers lacing while quiet laughs echoed throughout the practice room.

 

After a short while, they had stopped their mini celebration, silence enveloping the two of them as they merely stared at each other. Wonwoo didn’t notice that he had began to lean in, as did the other; he was only watching Soonyoung and how his eyes flickered down to his lips, too focused on the way that the other’s breath tickled at his own lips and the way the smaller’s eyes widened as the space between them shrunk. Wonwoo’s eyes fluttered shut, his once busy brain throwing out all prior thoughts, lips just barely ghosting over the older’s as his head dipped down the inch it had to.

 

He didn’t quite register what had come close to happening until the older male was jumping back, ripping his hands back to his own body with his cheeks flushed pink, fingers coming up to his lips as he muttered a quick apology.

 

Soonyoung was gone before he could say a word.

 

**

 

He was so incredibly tired.

 

Every muscle in his body ached, and they seemed to scream with every step he took towards his bedroom. His eyelids were droopy as well, threatening to glue themselves closed if he didn’t reach his room in the next minute or so. Wonwoo wanted nothing more than to collapse in his bed and sleep a full 12 hours, but they had a tight schedule tomorrow and the members weren’t always exactly the quietest bunch at night. He wondered how they had the energy to do karaoke at this time, knowing that the next day would be just as busy as this one, if not more.

 

Seating himself in the middle of his bed, the tall male’s back immediately came in contact with his mattress, various articles of clothing scattered across his bed, lost in the bunched-up sheets, and he couldn’t be bothered to fix it. Sleep sounded a lot more appealing than organization right now, no matter how much it bugged him.

 

It was when his body relaxed into the heap of blankets that Wonwoo heard his door creak, the door hinges screeching wildly, successfully gaining his attention and simultaneously a quiet whine.

 

“I’m sorry. Were you sleeping?” Soonyoung’s voice was so incredibly small, almost too quiet for someone as loud as him, and something about it tugged at Wonwoo’s chest.

 

Although things had gone back to normal a few weeks after the incident, the awkwardness between them still lingered. Wonwoo was beginning to get used to the smaller’s sudden timidness around him; he couldn’t even find himself being alone in the room with him without the older male blurting out a weak excuse before exiting the room. He didn’t like the shift in the atmosphere, but it was something he couldn’t do anything about.

 

Picking his head up off of the bed, he rubbed at his eyes tiredly, shaking his head as a few muttered words slipped past his barely parted lips, “Not yet, why? Did you need to talk about something?”

 

The mattress dipped from Soonyoung’s added weight. “Kind of, but if you’re too tired, I can wait until tomorrow. It’s not really that important.”

 

Wonwoo figured that the older male wanted to cuddle, so he slung his arm around his waist, pulling the other’s body into his own and nosing against the skin of his neck. He pretended not to hear the slight hitch of breath, brushing it off as a sound of mere surprise.

 

This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. Soonyoung often came to his room for cuddles before things got weird, especially after long days, so he thought nothing of it as his eyes fell shut again.

 

He noticed that Soonyoung was always warm, something like a human furnace. There was no worrying about blankets when they cuddled, Wonwoo was always satisfied with the warmth that the elder’s body radiated, so when he pulled himself closer to him, he could at least excuse it for being cold. It was nearing fall, anyway.

 

The younger male was nearing the point of rest again when a quiet call of his name cut through the silence of the room.

 

Once again, his attention was on the male he was currently latching on to, eyes just barely open as he peeked through his lashes. With his lips curled into a pout, he mumbled sleepily, “What?”

 

“I love you.”

 

And his heart froze.

 

Along with his heart, it seemed that Wonwoo’s brain had frozen over as well, thoughts not processing at all. All he could hear were those three words over and over and over and-

 

“You don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to tell you.” Soonyoung’s voice cracked at the end, and Wonwoo could hear just how nervous he was, especially when the older male let out a long shaky, breath after his words.

 

Another wave of silence washed over them, and although it seemed tense, it was nothing more than a few moments for Wonwoo’s brain to thaw, and for his thoughts to begin flooding. It didn’t help that he was half-asleep, either. There were a million responses floating throughout his mind, each one being tested out in a different scenario with different outcomes, and he just knew that he was overthinking everything.

 

When he peered back up at the male next to him, the other was staring down at him with careful eyes, bottom lip caught between his teeth as he nibbled on his own skin. It was when Wonwoo took a good look at him that he was able to respond coherently.

 

“I know.”

 

Forcing himself to look away, he had caught the sparkling reflection of a tear as it carefully ran down Soonyoung’s cheek just before his eyes fluttered shut.

 

He didn’t want to see it.

 

**

 

Wonwoo spent the next day writing a series of things.

 

At first, they were just poems, and that was all he had intended them to be, but sappy haikus turned into songs and suddenly he was crumpling the papers up in frustration, tossing them into the trashcan next to him.

 

He noticed that one of them had missed. Bending over the side of his chair, his arm outstretched, only for the paper to be picked up by someone else.

 

“Didn’t even read over it,” Jihoon’s mellow voice flowed sweetly, but it was the words that fell past his lips that had Wonwoo scowling slightly.

 

The taller male sat back in his chair, arms crossing over his chest.

 

“I don’t need to read over it to know that it isn’t good.” It was honest; straightforward. There was no need for him to look over words that he knew weren’t good enough to be turned into a song, let alone one about _him_.

 

“Self-deprecation isn’t a good look on you.”

 

Jihoon takes a seat on Wonwoo’s bed, uncrumpling the small ball of paper, small eyes following word by word on the page. Wonwoo could only wonder how the smaller would be able to decipher the messy scribbles and oddly shaped letters. The two of them were swallowed by silence, and Wonwoo could only dread the words he knew were bound to slip past the older’s lips. Every single feeling that lived inside his heart was poured out onto the page Jihoon was holding, and so it was only normal that he would be nervous about having them in someone else’s hands, but he knew he could trust Jihoon.

 

“This is good, Wonwoo, I don’t know why you think so lowly of it. I’m sure we can make something great from these lyrics.” Wonwoo only shrugged, slowly swirling around in his chair to face the smaller one perched on his bed. The taller was a little surprised that Jihoon didn’t say anything more about what he had just read, but he knew that the other didn’t feel the need to.

 

Getting up from Wonwoo’s bed, the other male had only a few more words to offer.

 

“You should tell him, you know. He deserves to know.”

 

Wonwoo tried to play dumb, eyebrows furrowing as he muttered, “Tell who?”

 

“Wonwoo,” Jihoon shot him a look, eyes narrowing at the obvious feigned expression on the older’s face. He had known him for years now, so lies such as these would never fly past him. Never in a million years. “I’m not stupid.”

 

“You know I can’t, Hoon.” And he wasn’t lying. Every time he even thought about confessing to every single thought he had conjured up in his tired brain, his throat would turn constricted and it’d feel like his chest was caving in on his lungs, threatening to swallow back even the smallest syllable Wonwoo would think of saying.

 

“Can’t or won’t?”

 

At these words, Wonwoo’s mind seemed to quiet itself down, the whirring of his thoughts coming to an abrupt stop. He hadn’t considered that before.

 

“He deserves to know.”

 

And then Jihoon was gone, paper still in his grasp.

 

**

 

Soonyoung ambushed him in the living room a week later, where Wonwoo was buried comfortably under a mound of blankets with _Aladdin_ playing on the television, having been forgotten a long time ago along with all his stress once he pulled out his phone. He had only noticed Soonyoung walk in when the older’s voice interrupted Genie’s dialogue.

 

“Hey,” Wonwoo’s head snapped up from where it had fallen to squint at the small text on his screen, reading the encouraging words left for him and the rest of Seventeen. The smile Soonyoung was offering him was one that Wonwoo knew he didn’t deserve; kind and full of hope. “Jihoon said you had something to tell me?”

 

Of course, he did.

 

“I…” Wonwoo paused, hesitation clear in how his voice wavered. A part of him wanted to brush it off and claim that maybe Jihoon mistook Wonwoo for someone else, but every other part of him screamed for him to tell the truth.  “Yeah. I have something to tell you. Do you wanna sit down?”

 

His heart was pumping ounces of guilt throughout his body, traveling through his veins and eventually reaching his brain. He could’ve _sworn_ the room started spinning right there and then until he felt Soonyoung’s hand on his shoulder.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

It took him a few seconds to calm down a little before his eyes finally focused on the worried expression plastered on the older male’s face and Wonwoo was quick to try to ease the crease between the smaller’s brows, thumb pressing against the skin gently. He didn’t realize the gravity of his actions until his eyes came in contact with Soonyoung’s, a look of confusion that Wonwoo could only tell was present by the way his eyes sparkled.

 

“Yeah, no, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me.” Truth be told, Wonwoo was far from feeling okay, but he didn’t want Soonyoung to be upset with that fact, let alone know how his insides were bunching up with every second he spent in front of him.

 

Ignoring the fast paced beat of his heart, the taller male patted the spot next to him on the couch, lifting up the blankets as he looked up at the older male with almost a hopeful look. “Let’s talk, yeah?”

 

Things weren’t quite normal between them, yet, but it seemed that the problem was dissipating slowly, which Wonwoo was more than thankful for. Soonyoung was his best friend, he didn’t want any unnecessary feelings to get between them, though that same feeling was the root of their problem in the first place. So albeit, the older male was a bit clumsy as he climbed into the spot next to Wonwoo, almost jumping when his thigh merely brushed the other’s which caused the tips of his ears to turn the lightest shade of red. Tucking the blanket just under his cheeks, the younger watched as Soonyoung kicked his feet upwards before settling them back down so that the blanket was underneath them, the wiggling of his toes visible through the fabric.

 

Wonwoo was so... fond.

 

“So?” Lost in thought, the male hadn’t realized that the older was finished settling into the couch until his voice cut through his own silence. It was a little embarrassing how fast his head snapped to face Soonyoung.

 

Wonwoo echoed, “So.” He didn’t know where to start, if he was being honest. There were too many things left unsaid in prior conversations, too many things he had collected in his mind to be organized into a single thought, so he decided to start with the most simple. “I’m sorry.” Looking away, the taller male focused his eyes on the TV screen, watching the animated characters move about in their own world, though not paying attention to the context of it.

 

Soonyoung’s eyebrows furrowed. “For what?”

 

“For never speaking up about how I felt.”

 

“Felt about..” He was visibly lost, a look of confusion splayed on his face as his eyes worriedly traveled across Wonwoo’s features. The look on the younger’s face wasn’t anything he could decipher, nor could Wonwoo himself.

 

“You.”

 

The one word rendered Soonyoung speechless, and it was then when the taller male decided to sneak a glance at him, only to see the older’s mouth open for a moment before closing again.

 

Wonwoo continued, “I’m sorry for practically leading you on and leaving you so unsure of maybe what you’re feeling or, well, I don’t know. All I know is that what I was ‒ or wasn’t ‒ doing was wrong. I should’ve said more than just, ‘I know,’ when you said that you loved me and I should’ve let you speak up about it instead of turning away and not even giving you a single chance to talk. It probably made you feel like.. like I didn’t care at all, which isn’t true.”

 

The guilt inside of him was overpowering now as Soonyoung’s eyes glazed over, the tears reflecting the dim light of the television. He could barely look at the older anymore, the tugging of his heart too strong.

 

“I care about everything you have to say because before anything, you’re my best friend and-” Inhaling sharply, Wonwoo barely gave himself a moment to think over his next few words. “I love you, too. I love you and I’ve known that for a while now, but admitting it to myself was hard enough. I was afraid that if you knew that that maybe things would change too much, and you would get tired of me after a while and I’m still afraid of that.”

 

“Why would you be afraid if..?” Soonyoung sounded afraid himself, and Wonwoo could only imagine the thoughts running through his own head right now.

 

Sighing, the younger male turned his attention to his lap, shrugging. “I’m not sure. Relationships..” he hesitated. Was that too much? “They’re terrifying. You love someone with all your heart and soul and you risk losing them every day. Isn’t that scary?”

 

“It shouldn’t be scary if you know that they love you.” Assurance weaved its way through every syllable that Soonyoung muttered, voice still shaky but holding itself together nonetheless. “That’s the thing about them. You just have to trust each other, I guess, even through the hardest times.”

 

Wonwoo nodded, and they found themselves in silence once again.

 

“I trust you.” A pause, and Wonwoo looked over at the smaller boy, taking in the sight of Soonyoung fiddling with his fingers just over the blanket, slanted eyes focused on everything but Wonwoo himself, still wet with tears that stained his plump cheeks. “Do you trust me?”

 

The younger male could only grin, reaching over and taking his hand, slipping each of his fingers between Soonyoung’s, thumb resting on the knuckle of his first finger.

 

“I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> this took me a long four months and oh boy i still have mixed feelings about it
> 
> if you wanna talk to me abt this fic or soonwoo in general hmu on [twitter](http://twitter.com/heartsungs) and uhh !!! yes thank you for reading (´・ω・｀)
> 
> (p.s. part two w fluff??? hehe)


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